As a quick perusal of the divorce rates will tell you, cultural freedom to choose your own life partner has a cost. Freedom comes with a willingness to terminate the relationship if it doesn’t work out.
It has been said that the western tradition of romantic love, of “listening to your heart” is the right way to begin a relationship. Isn’t it far superior to ancient traditions of parents bartering over their children’s future? The statistics seem to indicate otherwise.
In the romantic comedy xxxxxx, the heroine hardly knows anything about the hero, yet his sense of humour, heartfelt confession and bravery show her his suitability over her former boring but stable boyfriend. (xxxxxx – substitute the name of any romcom that comes to mind)
Your choice in relationships, particularly when choosing your life partner can have a huge effect on your emotional and financial wellbeing. Does any of this matter, as long as you follow your heart?
The same could be said for any major life decision. Should I “listen to my heart” when I buy a car, choose a job or give my mobile number to that questionnaire on facebook? Perhaps. Most people try and find out as much about the pros and cons of a major decision before making it. Particularly before our emotions take over.
Sydney Harris said “Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. “
Loading the data into excel in order to determine the suitability of the candidates does not seem romantic. It’s unlikely that explaining how their compatibility and socio-economic good sense has resulted in the current dinner invitation.
If having a successful relationship is important to you, treat it like any other important life decision. Something this important requires both the brain and the heart.
To have a fulfilling life it has been said that a dream, a vision and associated goals can result in the best outcome. You could apply this to the hypothetical person of your dreams.
You could envision what qualities you’d like to see in them and the life you can see with them. You may want to adjust your life in such a way as to attract such a person. You could set goals that ultimately lead to the relationship you desire.
Like other important goals, this is not about seeking perfection. This is about tuning your “radar” to be on the lookout for the things that matter to you.
Don’t leave it such an important decision to chance. Your choice.